12.18.08 9 years ago 30 Comments

The folks behind the Death Race DVD are pushing next week’s release pretty hard, and in lieu of actually giving me a copy (hint hint, motherf-ckers), they keep sending me clips like the one above.  Oh well, I’ll bite. In the video, Natalie Martinez explains why guys in prison might be excited to see her (because there normally aren’t many women around, you see) and The Stath’ explains the appeal of her crop top.  Later he had this to say:

Oi, cunts.  Oy’s Jason Stafam a course.  It’s well fock’n obvious dat da Staf’ ‘as done moy share a da shoiny fock’n sazz wagon movies, now ‘aven’ Oy?  Roight. But da fock’n fing about dis one, Def Raice, is dat da sazz wagon Oy’s droivin ain’ fock’n shoiny at all, donnit?  So when Oy sawr it, Da Staf’ was propa fock’n worried dat da dere weren’ be no fit birds if da wagon ain’ got dat shoine, innit.  But den dey wiz loike, “Oi! Staf’!  Dis fock’n sazz wagon ‘as got fock’n bloody machine pistils on da top of it, donnit?”  An’ so Oy took moy shir’ off an did a fousand pushups (cuz da Staf finks better dat way), an’ Oy fought, Oi, why not?  Oy ‘afta show moy versa-fock’n-tili-ee as an actor some toime, now doesn’ Oy?  So I did da fock’n movie, an’ a course Oy ‘ad great fock’n toime knackerin cunts wif moy pistil wagon, innit.

Long story short, Oy know what your finkin’ ’bout da Latin bird, an’ da answer is yes, Oy knobbed’a.  Oo da fock d’yous fink Oy am?

“Keeping it real”

“3,2,1… Explosion!” – That would’ve been a better title.

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