This week in This Week In Posters, thanks to the capricious whims of alphabetical order, we begin with this poster for Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies, which I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of us probably won’t get to see. There’s a lot going on in this — a crop duster, a rotting ferris wheel, multiple lens flares including one that seems to be coming out of a boob — but mostly I notice the tagline. So there are zombies… who are “Southern fried” (whatever the hell that means)… who… grow on you?
Hey, poster designers. You know we haven’t seen this movie yet, right? My brain hurts trying to connect the concepts of Southern fried zombies, and things that grow on you. This feels like an SAT analogy that I’ve failed.
Pretty cool IMAX poster for Black Panther here, but what’s all the stuff splattered in the background? Is it gold? Oh well, it’s not an action poster unless you have random particles of stuff in the background anymore.
Oh no, it looks like someone forgot to add the tagline to this Black Panther poster. I believe it’s supposed to say “out here it’s ‘bling bang.'”
I like the hands all over here, but hold up, is that a dwarf hand on her boob? This movie is even sexier than I first thought.
This looks like it could either be scary or an after-school special about steroids. Remember when Ben Affleck starred in one of those? That was awesome.
Oh look, it’s Deadpool doing a parody of a thing. So camp, that Deadpool. Did you guys hear that Deadpool is very irreverent? Deadpool seems like the superhero for people whose dating profiles make sure to note how sarcastic they are.
GO AWAY, SHERLOCK GNOMES! I MEAN IT!
The gnomes are in Australia now? What the f*ck is going on with this movie? They’ve made a poster starring gnomes with surfboards burying a Sherlock Holmes guy in the sand in Australia. I’ll say this, the level of faith that the potential audience for this poster will connect these concepts is astounding.
I like the negative space in this poster. The focal point is a blank spot, which is weirdly compelling. Anyway, I saw the trailer for this the other day, and apparently it’s a kind of Shallow Hal situation, where she hits her head and wakes up thinking she’s a beautiful fashion model even though nothing has changed. HENCE THE TAGLINE. Thank you, this has been another exciting episode of “Vince Explains The Premise Of Stuff.”
She contains multitudes. Slightly reminiscent of the Marjorie Prime poster:
What do we call this trope, the Conjoined Twin?
*takes long drag on pipe*
*leans back in easy chair*
I like the dresses that only cover the bottom corner of the boob.
I saw The Incredibles. I do not remember this character. Was she voiced by the lady from Poltergeist? No, I’m not looking this up.
Ahh, this one is much better. Simple concept, well executed, no diagonals or random particles of stuff floating around. Well done.
This poster seems like a literal take on “Outside In.” Is it a body swap movie? It played TIFF, so it’d have to be an artsy body swap movie. It turns out that the real outside was the friends we made along the way.
Here’s a baseball card series of images for Pacific Rim Uprising, a sequel to a film that was basically a series of baseball cards. Between Pacific Rim and Suicide Squad, I wish a filmmaker would have the balls to just make the entire movie vignettes of the heroes’ attributes.
No silly name for this one? I feel like we’ve been denied a silly name here.
This one is pretty cool. I like how the flames kind of look like an Asian sleeve tattoo. Of course, the posters are always the best part of a Pacific Rim movie.
I like the colors. But does the character design have to be so busy? I can barely tell the robots from the monsters over here.
I like that this new batch of Peter Rabbit posters looks like the rabbits getting stoned on produce.
You just lay around pantsless getting high on produce? Being a rabbit seems like a nice life.
The diagonals work so much better when the characters are laying down.
Did I not tell you that these rabbits are high as hell?
The best part of this poster for Pyrenees is the font.
I’m getting a strong “trailers during Grindhouse” vibe from this Quiet Place poster. I can practically hear the announcer. Also, did she get attacked by Black Panther? Diagonal scratch marks are kind of his MO.
HALL OF MIRRORS, THE MOVIE. But seriously, big ups to these guys for lining up the faces and the names in corresponding order.
Uh… did… they remake… Kazaam… starring… The Fat Jew? This poster looks exactly as misguided as the concept.
Normally I hate imagery inside a silhouette, but here it works, maybe because Bryan Brown already kind of looks like a Mount Rushmore face.
Is this for an animated movie or no? Apparently not. Anyway, screw this movie for getting Ace of Base stuck in my head with that dumb tagline.
Two things Sam Worthington is really good at: transforming into a scaly alien, being in movies with “Titan” in the title. When this script landed on an exec’s desk, there was really only one choice to play the lead.
I know Hollywood has a lot of stupid ideas, but even after writing about them for like 10 years I’m still amazed at how dumb a Tomb Raider reboot is. How the hell are we getting a Tomb Raider reboot before a Master and Commander sequel? I hate everything.
Sparks, dirt… I dunno, just put some particles of stuff back there.
“See how the mother half lives” is a nice tagline. I also look forward to a mom comedy that doesn’t include a scene of the moms slow-motion cool walking set to ’90s hip-hop.
Wait, did they make an entire movie out of the “NBA star dressed up like an old man” concept? Sure, why not, it worked for Jackass.
I never read the comics: Are Venom’s eye spots like a killer whale’s? Like the big white things aren’t his eyes, right? I need my superheroes/villains biologically accurate.