Twilight Made A Billion Dollars

11.18.11 16 Comments

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 opened at midnight last night and pulled in $30.3 million, proving once again that people absolutely eat this crap up with a soup spoon. The $30 million figure is in line with the midnight screening of the last Twilight, Eclipse, and slightly ahead of New Moon’s $26 million. In other news, Stephanie Meyer just bought a gold-plated helicopter, which she won’t even use. She just thought her other helicopter looked lonely.

Look, here’s the thing: good. If there’s a movie, or series of movies, that you really enjoy, more power to you. See it at midnight, see it three times opening weekend, buy the poster, buy the Blu-Ray, go to an event where the cast will sign your cape or whatever vampire stuff you have, write on a message board about it, etc. Go sick. Don’t let cynical jerks like me who have never seen it and think it’s incredibly stupid detract from your enjoyment of it in any way. Just because I think it’s ridiculous that $30 million worth of people stood in line outside a movie theater at 11pm on a cold November night to see a melodramatic movie about vampires and premarital sex doesn’t mean it IS ridiculous. You like what you like, and you are perfectly entitled to enjoy it without interference from me. Vaya con dios.

Unless of course you are going to see Jack and Jill, in which case you will be placed under citizen’s arrest in the most violent manner possible and waterboarded in the theater using your own 32oz jug of Mountain Dew. That’s just a matter of principle.

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