VIDEO: Steven Seagal's bulletproof kimono in action

Steven Seagal, while famously not able to keep track of space and time too well, is an impeccable dresser, and, as we found out the other day, once had a Colombian company design him a bulletproof kimono, presumably so that he could keep up his patented “bloated shaman” look, even while taking musket fire during the Civil War or dodging matchlocks aboard a Chinese junk during 15th century Ming voyages. “I once assassinated Julius Caesar with a front kick, but I’m not here to talk about that,” Seagal likes to say.

An eagle-eyed FilmDrunkard, meanwhile, pointed out that the very factory that manufactured Seagal’s bulletproof kimono was actually visited by Vice reporter Ryan Duffy back in May, who actually got to try on some bulletproof Seagal gear [5:20 of the video], which may require being specially made on account of its size, in addition to its bullet-stopping qualities (Steven Seagal is very big, is what I’m saying). Naturally, Duffy put on some bulletproof clothes and took a jacket for a test drive, becoming a shooting dummy for the so-called bulletproof tailor and CEO of the company, Miguel Caballero, who fires a pistol at Duffy from about two feet away.

You gotta love that the CEO does the shooting himself, right there in his office, no waivers or anything. Good ole Colombia. “Waibear? No waibear. Mira, ju wanna get chot, I choot ju. 10 dolar, frieng price.”