Weekend Movie Guide: Oh Cool, A Found Footage Movie

Opening All Over Your Sister’s Dress: Project X, The Lorax, Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie, Being Flynn, Let the Bullets Fly [We Need to Talk about Kevin, in San Francisco at least]

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince sort of liked Project X – in case you’re the one person on this planet who didn’t read his review – but since he hates my photoshops, I’m going to suggest Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie. But whatever you do, don’t see The Lorax, because it’s propaganda teaching our children that industry is evil.

Project X

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 27% critics, 71% audience, 100% large-thumbed men

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Project X, a house party turned riot, actually isn’t much of a movie. It’s a slag heap of steals from similar films, roughly spanning the booger-flicking expanse from Animal House in 1978 to Superbad in 2007, with many explosive stops along the way.” – Peter Howell, Toronto Star (GRRRRRRRR EXPLOSIONS!)

“At an advance screening, the man beside me, the woman beside him, and another man in front of us were all working their cellphones throughout the picture. They were reading and sending texts (perhaps ‘I’m here sort-of-watching Project X’), justifiably confident that this movie is the perfect complement to such multitasking, that nothing on the big screen in the theatre would prove too distracting from the small screen in their hand. Occasionally, they would look up and laugh. Or not. Whatever.” – Rick Groen, Globe and Mail (*flips scarf*)

Armchair Analysis: You really should read Vince’s review, or else he’ll whip me. I haven’t seen Chronicle yet, but I’ve heard it’s great, so I’m not going to completely crap all over the “found footage” movie genre that’s been beaten to death by the likes of Paranormal Activity 1-70. As for the idea of Project X, I used to throw parties in high school while my mom worked the night shift at the hospital and I’ve had people kick in my door, camp out on my lawn and girls strip in my hot tub (#COOLSTORYBRO) so there’s a part of me that wants to see this… on Blu-Ray.

The Lorax

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 56% critics, 85% audience, 0% Fox News pundits

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“It’s pure agitprop, with no surprises and a title character — a mysterious creature who ‘speaks for the trees’ — that even Theodore Geisel seems to find a pain, describing him as ‘shortish. And oldish. And brownish. And mossy,’ who speaks ‘with a voice that [is] sharpish and bossy.’ Fortunately, the Lorax doesn’t appear in the book very much and you don’t actually have to hear his voice. As opposed to the movie, with its long and loud serenades in the unmellifluous New Jersey tones of Danny DeVito.” – David Edelstein, NPR (Ooh la la, someone reads.)