Will Somebody Please Just Get ‘Tammy’ Her Stupid Pies Already?

If I had to put together my own synopsis of Tammy based on just the trailers, clips and TV spots that I’ve watched, it would probably read like this:

Melissa McCarthy plays a woman named Tammy, and she likes dancing to Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant that she’s about to rob, because no one is going to notice a woman with a bag on her head dancing like an a-hole like that. But she’d rather have that restaurant’s pies than the money, although she does take the money, because her drunk grandmother (Susan Sarandon) makes her return it later, after they take a road trip. And, um, that one guy from The League is apparently there, and Tammy rides a jet ski at some point, probably less than 30 minutes after she eats one of the pies, because that’ll be hilarious, I’m sure.

Based on this new TV spot, I’d say that I nailed that synopsis. Now I kind of want a McDonald’s apple pie, though.