This week has been a busy one for the Wolverine: We’re Calling It “The Wolverine” In The Hopes That You’ll Forget About The Last One. First they released a new batch of posters like the one you see above, featuring Hugh Jackman getting greased up and veiny for his battle with a horde of anonymous Asians (Peter North did it first). Then they released a six-second Vine trailer (all Vine videos are six-seconds long), which plays like a perfect satire of every action movie trailer of the last 10 years:
— MTV News (@MTVNews) March 25, 2013
EXPLOSION! ETHNIC VILLAIN! YELLING! SUPERPOWER! LOVE INTEREST! GRUNTING! WHOA! EXPLOSION! ETHNIC VILLAIN! YELLING! SUPERPOWER! LOVE INTEREST! GRUNTING! WHOA!EXPLOSION! ETHNIC VILLAIN! YELLING! SUPERPOWER! LOVE INTEREST! GRUNTING! WHOA!EXPLOSION! ETHNIC VILLAIN! YELLING! SUPERPOWER! LOVE INTEREST! GRUNTING! WHOA!
That was actually a – and I swear I’m not making this word up – “tweaser” (twitter + teaser) for today’s trailer. You can thank Fox exec Tony Sella for coming up with that one (more like Tony SELLOUT, am I right?). And today we have the teaser that the tweaser was teasing (never tease a tweaser, bro):
Based on the celebrated comic book arc, this epic action-adventure takes Wolverine, the most iconic character of the X-Men universe, to modern day Japan. Out of his depth in an unknown world he faces his ultimate nemesis in a life-or-death battle that will leave him forever changed. Vulnerable for the first time and pushed to his physical and emotional limits, he confronts not only lethal samurai steel but also his inner struggle against his own immortality, emerging more powerful than we have ever seen him before.
The introduction was 13 seconds, making the actual teaser about 20 seconds long. Gosh, what a novel strategy. Why, my anticipation is palpable. Please, Fox, continue to whet my appetite with more pube-covered bathroom floor crumbs. I just hope they don’t take too long to release the $1.99 iPhone app that I can use to scan the clues at participating Wendy’s locations and eventually unlock the 46-second “cheeseburgreaser,” featuring Hugh Jackman screaming at a mirror and flipping over his bed that I’ll be able to watch as soon as I buy a Samsung Galaxy 2 tablet at participating Targets. Fox just really knows how to give the fans what we want, you know? I think it was Dweezil Zappa who once said, “Behind every great artist is a brilliant social media strategist with his finger guns on the pulse of corporate synergy.”