Your Daily Rust-Covered Star Wars-Themed Rape Van

05.13.11 8 years ago 36 Comments

My, my, a SECOND rape van post?  What God did I please, you must be thinking.  That’s right, loyal FilmDrunkard Matthew saw this morning’s post on the World’s Most Legit Rape Van and promptly sent over a picture of the Star Wars rape van you see above, which he spotted a few weeks ago in Seattle.  And as we all know, Rape Vans come in threes, like celebrity deaths, or a bukkake quorum, so WHO KNOWS WHAT MAJESTY THIS AFTERNOON WILL BRING???

If forced to compare this rape van to this morning’s rape van, I don’t think there’s any question that a rainbow-queefing unicorn being ridden into space by an AK-47-toting Viking with a ZZ Top beard beats a pretty standard rendering of the iconic Star Wars characters.  However, I will say that being covered in rust and parked in front of what appears to be an abandoned factory, this one may have the edge in actual rapiness.  “Now if you’ll just move the insulation and old rebar aside, I’ll show you where I keep the candy.”

I wonder if this is Jaimie Alexander‘s van.

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