Editorial: Jennifer Lawrence’s new haircut is awesome!

11.07.13 5 years ago 5 Comments

When celebrities get new haircuts, America takes notice. Especially if that celebrity is Jennifer Lawrence, a.k.a. The Greatest Person Ever To Have Lived. Ha! She is, though.

Has Jennifer Lawrence gotten haircuts before? Of course she has. See, look:

Jennifer Lawrence haircut

But this time is different. Because never before has Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair in a pixie cut. Are you ready? Here it is!!

Jennifer Lawrence pixie cut

And here she is again, with her “Hunger Games” co-star Josh Hutcherson. I am sorry, but she looks incredible!

Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson at the Hunger Games Catching Fire junket

And here’s another one where they are laughing, probably about something super-funny that Jennifer said. Oh, Jennifer!

Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson at the Hunger Games Catching Fire junket

Now that you’ve seen not one but three pictures of Jennifer Lawrence’s pixie cut, you may be asking yourself: what exactly is a pixie cut, anyway? Well, here is the answer: a pixie cut is a short haircut on a woman that according to Wikipedia is “very easy to maintain and can be worn casually, or dressed up for special occasions.” The pixie cut was invented by Audrey Hepburn, who was a famous movie star from the 1960s who also knew a lot about hair apparently.

Although any woman can get a pixie cut (except for women who aren’t able to grow hair, in which case, sucks to be you!), it takes a special kind of woman to pull off a pixie cut, and 100% of the time those women are famous, wealthy and stunningly beautiful. Women like…

Alyssa Milano:

Alyssa Milano pixie cut

Natalie Portman: 

Natalie Portman pixie cut

Michelle Williams:

Michelle Williams pixie cut

And of course Beyonce, who shocked the world when she posted her new pixie cut on Instagram:

Beyonce pixie cut

Now you may be asking yourself: so whose pixie cut is the best pixie cut? While we could all pretend that that is a real question, the obvious winner would be Jennifer Lawrence, of course (duh), who is ten times more beautiful than Beyonce, Michelle Williams, Alyssa Milano and Natalie Portman combined, even if they all got plastic surgery to look like Jennifer Lawrence (which you know they have all thought about).

Now that we’ve established that Jennifer Lawrence’s pixie cut is the best pixie cut, a word of advice for you readers: do not try to do what Jennifer Lawrence has done, because you will fail. You see, Jennifer Lawrence has a special magic inside of her that makes everything she does fucking awesome, from all of her incredible movie roles (she won an Oscar, in case you forgot!) to her magazine covers to everything she wears on red carpets and at awards shows. Just because you get a pixie cut like Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t mean that people will love you all of a sudden, so why would you even bother then. You will have to find other reasons to make people love you, like being thin and popular and maybe becoming an actress or model (if you’re lucky bitch!)

So in conclusion, this is the end of my editorial about Jennifer Lawrence’s new pixie cut. If you don’t like it, you are all haters and you can go fuck off and die.

Follow RIOT on Twitter

Around The Web