‘Fifty Shades Darker’ teaser offers up… a tease?

Clip It: Each day, Jon Davis looks at the world of trailers, featurettes, and clips and puts it all in perspective.

Here we go, guys… Shield your eyes if it's too much for you. We're about to see a preview of a preview of naughty behavior. Lasciviousness ahead. Time to get wild. Take out the smelling salts just in case you get the vapors. We're doing this freaky thang. Let's get into it.    

The opening image is of fireworks. Hmm. A well known metaphor for the passionate kissing. And nothing else. Just kissing.

The tag line is: “Slip into something a shade darker.” Which is a fashion thing. Sometimes certain colors pop too much and your color choice is mostly correct but it should be a little more muted. For instance, you don't want to wear a banana yellow outfit to a dinner party. Maybe go a little more beige. Solid advice, teaser trailer. 

Then Jamie Dornan eyes Dakota Johnson meaningfully in the mirror and says “Intrigued?” Over what? The mirror? I mean, it's nice as far as mirrors go. Is it from the Ming Dynasty? We'll have to stay tuned. 

In the background music, the singer chants: “uh oh uh oh oh.” And then follows that up with “oh no no no.” It sound like he's doing really well on StairMaster and then abruptly fell off. 

Okay, put down the fire hose you were pointing at yourself.  There wasn't anything to see. We haven't gotten much action so far. But tomorrow, when we get the real Fifty Shades Darker trailer, hopefully we'll see some sexy stuff. So take a cold bath and we'll see you tomorrow.