Michelle Williams vs. Michelle Williams: July 8-14, 2013

07.15.13 6 years ago

By some strange twist of fate in the year 1980, two bouncing baby girls named Michelle Williams were born who would go on to achieve fame and fortune – one as a universally-adored Oscar-nominated actress, the other as the third banana in an R&B girl group called Destiny’s Child.

To make sense of this madness, we here at RIOT have developed an ongoing feature entitled “Michelle Williams vs. Michelle Williams,” which will highlight the lives and careers of both Michelle Williamses week-by-week and then rank their accomplishments on a scale we’ve imaginatively dubbed the “Michelle Williams Hotness-o-Meter.”

On tap this week: Michelle Williams admits to having body issues, says she’s going “ratchet” on her new album, and may or may not still be attempting to break up Katie Holmes’ new relationship. So which Michelle Williams did what? And which of them made the bigger impression? Enrich your life with our full breakdown below.


Score this week: 20/100

After a stellar Hotness-o-Meter ranking the last time around, the “Lassie” star was nowhere to be found in the headlines this week – meaning she effectively failed to capitalize on those recent tabloid rumors/facts that had her attempting to sabotage Katie Holmes’ budding relationship with her “Mania Days” co-star Luke Kirby. Perhaps she’s laying low before the inevitable strike? We can only hope. In the meantime, her Hotness-O-Meter rating has suffered a major blow that can perhaps only be rectified by a nasty public spat with her former “Dawson’s Creek” co-star. Really Michelle, you’ve got to get this train back on track.

Score this week: 90/100

Michelle Williams easily takes the Hotness-o-Meter crown this week, mostly thanks to her mention of Beyonce’s body insecurities back in the early 2000s. “On the outside, we were poised and smiling,” Michelle Williams told In Touch magazine in an exclusive interview. “But behind the scenes we had issues…I was trying to gain weight, and meanwhile Beyoncé would say, ‘I think my thighs are too big.”” Also giving Michelle Williams’ rating a boost this week was her other Destiny’s Child bandmate Kelly Rowland, who once talked Michelle Williams out of getting Botox. “I was going through a moment, looking in the mirror, and I was like, ‘I need Botox,”” Michelle told StyleBlazer.com. “And Kelly was like, ‘Girl, hush. Just go somewhere and get a facial.'” Lastly, Michelle Williams has vowed to go “ratchet” on her upcoming album, which may or may not qualify as a threat.

Twitter: @HitFixChris

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