‘Project Runway’ recap: ‘There’s No Business Like Sew Business’

So, the designers walk down Fifth Avenue (or, as Josh calls it, Fifth Ave, which makes me want to smack him to death with a designer purse) and end up at Elie Tahari’s flagship store. Their challenge is to create a “wow” ready-to-wear look that can retail at $500 to $700. The winning design will be sold at all of the Elie Tahari stores and proceeds will go to Save the Garment Center. Mondo won this challenge last season. No pressure. 

Josh is picking a glow-in-the-dark magenta, because when he hears “wow” in the challenge, what he really hears is “Blind them! Blind them all!” 

The designers head back to the work room, and they have eight hours to make something chic and wearable. Uli realizes she’s chosen white fabric. Again. Oh, no! I’m not worried. I think I would buy almost anything this woman makes, honestly. 

Joanna drops in with Elie. Ivy is the first stop. She’s so honored to meet Elie. Joanna thinks it’s modern and feminine, and Elie thinks she’s bold to use it. However, he isn’t sure about the maxi length. Ivy thinks the consumer can just take it to the tailor and cut it up. Yes, I always think, well, I can have this cut in half because that’s what I look for in a dress I’ve just spent $500 on — an additional tailoring price tag. Joanna points out to Ivy that she’s being a lazy idiot, though she does this very nicely.  

Elie wonders why Josh’s dress is open in front. He’s going to make it a crew neck. Elie thinks there’s a lot going on with the lace. Anthony Ryan thinks the pink lace reads Playboy mansion, and I’m with Anthony Ryan — and, I think, Elie, who seems to think this is all hella crazy. I’m not sure if Josh is getting the point, though. He thinks it’s wow!  

Emilio talks to Elie about his color block dress. Joanna thinks it’s an interesting color combination, but it’s hard to wear. Elie likes the back more than the front. I think Emilio will survive this challenge, but he won’t win it. 

Joanna notes that Uli’s dress is going to make the model look huge. Uli is hugely relieved she and Elie came by to tell her this, as she’s now going to make changes. That’s what I like about Uli — she can be told her outfit is crap, and she just gets to work on fixing it. No whining. Refreshing!

Anthony Ryan is last. Joanna thinks he’s relying on the print. Elie wants him to think about the hips. Elie talks about fighting for truth and love and food and big blessings. He’s talking about not being lazy and working hard, but ultimately I’m not sure where he’s going with this, but Joanna is moved. Anthony is moved, too. I guess this made more sense if you were in the room, maybe.

It’s video chat day, apparently. Anthony Ryan talks to his boyfriend and Ivy talks to Casanova. Casanova wants Ivy to fight! Don’t cry! Dream a dream! 

It’s a race to the finish, and Uli appears to be in trouble (her model is smaller than her fit dummy) and so does Josh (for the usual reasons). 

The designers end up back at the apartment, talking about Elie. He came to the U.S. 40 years ago and he was homeless and he dreamed a dream and is there a script these guys have to read or what? Yes, it’s very, very inspiring. It’s also very, very canned. 

Countdown to the runway, and Josh’s zipper is making the model look “like she has a dump in her butt.” I think I know who’s going home!

Runway time! Our judges are Isaac Mizrahi, Georgina Chapman, Elie Tahari and “in demand” model and actress Stacy Kiebler, whom I always thought was a former wrestler who’s dating George Clooney. 

Anthony Ryan

I do like this. The pockets are a nice touch, the print is clean but eye-catching, plus it’s figure flattering. He could win this.

Josh

I don’t like the lace, the zipper is a nightmare. He is going home for that zipper.

Emilio

I don’t love this. He says a lot of women can wear it, but I think that color is almost impossible for anyone with light skin to pull off. It’s pretty boring, albeit blinding.  

Ivy

This stops at the absolutely worst spot on the leg — mid-calf. It’s not a maxi dress, it’s not anything other than a mess. It looks like a damn apron. How did she screw this up? 

Uli

Yes, it’s white again, but I love it. It’s a flattering design, cut well, and the detailing at the shoulders is a nice touch. Gorgeous fabric — and it looks expensive. 

Georgina likes the shoulder detailing, but she thinks the length is meh. Isaac likes the length. Carolyn thinks she could make a white dress every week. Stacy thinks it’s very classy. Elie thinks she did an amazing job considering how crappy it was yesterday. 

Ivy talks about her train wreck. Carolyn likes the print and nothing else. Georgina thinks the length makes it frumpy. Elie tells Ivy she ignored what he had to say. Stacy thinks it would be cute short. Isaac likes it, but only when it’s moving.

Georgina thinks Emilio’s dress is too simple and the color is hard to wear. Stacy agrees. Carolyn thinks he can do that color combo. Isaac is disappointed. 

Isaac love Anthony Ryan’s side panels, but thinks the neckline has been done to death, Elie likes it a lot. Stacy wants to wear it. Georgina thinks it looks young but worries about the neckline. 

Georgina loves the color of Josh’s dress, but thinks it gives the model droopy boobs. Isaac loves the fabric but nothing else. Elie thinks the lace got him in trouble. Stacy thinks the zipper made it modern but took away femininity. Carolyn thinks the zipper cheapens the dress. “But $500 to $700 is a moderate price point!” he says. Yes, it’s moderate enough that you’d shrug off a ripply zipper. Is he on crack?  

The judges chat semi-privately, if you don’t count the film crew. Isaac will not let Emilio go this week. I didn’t think that was even a possibility, really. It’s either Ivy or Josh. But the judges are torn. Josh or Ivy, Ivy or Josh? 

Time for the verdicts! Uli and Anthony Ryan are the top scores, of course. Duh. The winner is… Anthony Ryan. Winning scares the bleep out of him! Hey, winning is good, Anthony Ryan. Go with it. I loved his dress, and I think it will sell.

Emilio is safe, Ivy… is out. She’d been circling the drain for weeks, so this is no shocker. I do think Josh’s dress was much worse, but Ivy screwed up as well. But Josh really needs to go home next week — such glaring tackiness really shouldn’t make the final three. 

But don’t worry about Ivy. She’s okay with going home. She’s excited about what’s to come. I think she should stick to making little jackets. Those ones she made in the first few weeks? Divine. But that maxi dress that wasn’t a maxi or a mini or anything in between? Epic fail. 

What did you think of who won and who lost? What do you think of the final four? And who do you think will win?