So, many things happened on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” this week. We learned Yolanda “almost died” from Lyme disease, Lisa was more than thrilled to be voted off “Dancing with the Stars,” and Brandi likes to dump guys before they can dump her. Really, that could have been enough to keep us more than mildly amused by our high strung, semi-crazy gals. But the true drama was reserved for a friendly, getting-to-know-you ladies’ lunch at Carlton’s. On the menu were catty comments, sly innuendoes and a liberal sprinkling of the C-word. Oh, and salad. You can’t have a nice lady lunch in Beverly Hills without the salad.
No sooner than pleasantries had been exchanged than Brandi decided to make Lisa cry. Not really, but that was the end result, it seemed. In the limo on the way over to Carlton’s house, Kyle, Kim and Brandi danced around the topic of Lisa’s fainting spell on “Dancing with the Stars.” That was an awfully pretty faint, and while Brandi doesn’t come right out and say she agrees with Kyle’s assessment, she certainly doesn’t rally to Lisa’s defense, either. That would be fine — if the conversation had been left in the limo.
Alas, for some reason Brandi had to go trotting over to Lisa to inform her that all the girls thought she was a big, fat faint-faker, which hurts Lisa’s feelings and pisses off Kyle. Way to go, Brandi! I’m not saying she was wrong about Lisa, mind you, but if she thought she was faking she owed it to her friend to either tell her to her face or keep her mouth shut in the group. I don’t think Lisa will hold it against her for very long, and Kyle has other, bigger things to resent Brandi for later in the afternoon.
What’s most interesting about Carlton’s little lunch is how quickly Carlton determines that Kyle is a crass, uncouth mean girl. I’m not sure I agree that Kyle asking about Carlton’s religion was as horribly gauche as Carlton seems to believe it is, but I’m with her about how Kyle peppering her with questions about witchcraft was pretty tactless. I’m sure Kyle knows that Carlton’s a witch, so making the cracks about broomsticks and warts on noses is just one step from schoolyard bullying. I did thoroughly enjoy watching Carlton take Kyle down a peg, though. I think Kyle is going to quickly realize that Carlton is a mighty adversary, and she might just want to take a step back — at least until she can dig up something that will bring Carlton to her knees.
I’m thinking that the pall of silence that fell after Brandi used the C-word was just a trick of editing, since everyone knows Brandi has a mouth like a sailor. Since the other girls don’t know that Carlton has one, too, they were offended on her behalf. They may just want to stand back, as I think Carlton will soon be dropping F-bombs in front of their kids and elderly relatives if given half a chance.
While there was plenty of snippy patter and gentle digs, the real blowout came when Brandi awkwardly brought up the issue of how Kyle has dealt with rumors about her husband’s infidelity. I’ve got to believe that some producer prodded her to ask this, because I find it hard to believe Brandi (who knows something about being cheated on) would be so callous. Maybe she thought they could bond over the pain of being jilted, or she could help Kyle face her denial, or just make her ugly cry in front of her friends, but it’s not one of Brandi’s better moments. I’m sure Kyle will do something to get even, though. She always does.
Who do you think was the worst behaved at Carlton’s lunch? Do you think Brandi should have stood up for Lisa? Do you think Kyle was rude to Carlton? Do you think Joyce is the least likely to make a second season of the show?