Known Gettysburg Address detractor Jebidiah Atkinson made his second appearance on “SNL” last night, this time traveling back from the year 1860 just in time to take a giant dump all over your favorite Christmas specials, movies and even the Bible. From “Charlie Brown’s Christmas” to the New Testament, below you can find out what Jebidiah really thinks of some our most cherished (so-called) holiday classics (full video embedded below).
Jebidiah Atkinson on “A Charlie Brown Christmas”:
“I was hoping for joy and wonder, instead I got a 30-minute Zoloft commercial.”
Jebidiah Atkinson on “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”:
“And if you ever saw it, you would even say it blows.”
Jebidiah Atkinson on “Frosty the Snowman”:
“There might have been some magic in that old hat they found, but I’ll tell you what wasn’t in there: a story.”
Jebidiah Atkinson on “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”:
“You know what else the Grinch stole? 30 minutes of my life!”
Jebidiah Atkinson on “It’s a Wonderful Life”:
“Every time this movie airs, an angel blows his brains out.”
Jebidiah Atkinson on “A Christmas Carol”:
“‘A Christmas Carol’? More like ‘Ebenezer Snooze.'”
Jebidiah Atkinson on the story of Christ’s birth:
“Let’s see: a guy travels across the country with his family to find out the hotel is closed. I liked it more the first time when it was called ‘National Lampoon’s Vacation.'”
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