You should probably buy Michael Jordan’s amazing and insane mansion

Have you been thinking about moving? Michael Jordan’s outside-of-Chicago estate is up for sale, so perhaps you’d like to rob a bank or 20 and make an offer. It goes to auction later this month and just might be the most insanely luxurious home ever built ever.

Here are some of the things the estate has to offer:

– 9 bedrooms and 19 bathrooms, which means 2 bathrooms for every bedroom, plus one for dogs, probably.

– A gated entrance with a giant, grand “23” emblem. Wonder what that number signifies.

– A tennis court.

– An infinity pool with a grassy island in the middle of it.

– Doors that used to belong to the original Playboy Mansion in Chicago.

– A custom table that is also a map of Baghdad, for some reason that may implicate Michael Jordan in some sort of espionage.

– Like a million sectional couches.

– A very, very grand skylight.

– An NBA-sized basketball court that is drenched in the sweat of legends.

So, should we team up and buy this thing? I can offer $7 in coins that I found underneath my couch cushions. And I can sell that couch, because I won’t need it once I live in Michael Jordan’s house.

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