Brace yourself, millennials. It’s time for the mashup you never knew you needed, but will now desperately want — Leonardo DiCaprio meets Tony Hawk! This is the most ’90s thing possible, and yet somehow it hasn’t happened until now.
Yes, the One Perfect Shot folks took Leo’s crusty-bearded Oscar bid, The Revenant, and gave it the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater treatment, which oddly makes some sort of sense. The Tony Hawk games were all about stringing together endless combos, and The Revenant is all about stringing together endless sufferings. Pick from several vastly different stages (Cold Woods, Cold River, Cold Mountain or, uh, The Warehouse) and score points by pulling off running mounts and horsey cliff dives. Will you avenge your dead son? Probably not until you’ve retried the stage at least 100 times.
Sadly, this video only covers one “stage.” Does the game let you pull off the “cauterizing your neck hole with gunpowder” trick? Is there an achievement for running into as many freezing rivers as possible? The longest sustained bout of heavy breathing? Most booger-covered mustache? Also, just how many points did that bear get for the legendary combo she unleashed on Leo?
Leonardo DiCaprio’s Pro Revenant hits stores, uh, never. Dammit.