The Pope of Mope himself, Morrissey, launched an online store today, in case you were wondering what to get your pale teenage nephew for his birthday. There are cheeky tote bags (“Shoplifters of the World Unite”), XXL sweatshirts, “bathtub” mouse mats, and many t-shirts, the most loud of which reads, “BE KIND TO ANIMALS OR I’LL KILL YOU.” Heaven knows Morrissey is subtle now.
Oddly, the shirt doesn’t come in black, even though black is how I feel on the inside.