Do you love Christmas carols, but find them to be a bit too syrupy, and perhaps not all that representative of what the holiday season is really like? Are you tired of hearing “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Rockin’ Around This Christmas Tree” over and over again, and would you like to hear some Christmas songs that aren’t so unrelentingly peppy? Well then, Seal has the perfect Christmas album for you.
Last night, in a sketch on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the English singer gave us Seal’s Honest Christmas Carols, a compilation of Christmas songs that are unafraid to tell the harsh truths about what really goes down this time of year. The album features such sure-to-become-classics as “All Your Friends From High School Are Fat,” and “My Cousin’s New Boyfriend Is A D**k.” Not to mention the genius of “Another F**ing Applebee’s Gift Card (Thanks Donna, This Is Just What I Needed).” Yeah, the specific attention to detail really makes some of these songs stand out.
Be forewarned, though, he makes some controversial statements about ugly Christmas sweaters, so if that’s something you’re a fan of, you may want to stay away from this album. For the rest of us, though, it’s the holiday album we’ve needed for awhile now.