Dwyane Wade's All-Star Foul Has Given Kobe Bryant Every Injury

Pro Wrestling Editor
02.27.12 3 Comments

Dwyane Wade fouled Kobe Bryant hard during the third quarter of Sunday’s NBA All-Star Game. It doesn’t look like much, but it drew blood. Kobe played the rest of the game, including that awesome part at the end where he yelled SHOOT THE F**KING BALL at LeBron and caused King James to have an acid flashback to last year’s Finals.

Turns out things were worse than a weirdly-aggressive foul and some blood. From the LA Times, who win the Michael Scott memorial “Immediately Explain Your Own Reference” award for their headline “It’s West by a nose as Kobe Bryant breaks nose”:

Bryant skipped a postgame media session after his 27-point performance, and was taken for further evaluation after he said he was “experiencing headaches.” The Lakers announced later that Bryant had suffered a nasal fracture and would be reevaluated Monday after he returned to Los Angeles by an ear, nose and throat specialist.

If all that wasn’t bad enough, Yahoo Sports is reporting that the injury is even worse.

In addition to a broken nose, Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant suffered a mild concussion in Sunday night’s NBA All-Star game, a league source told Yahoo! Sports.

We should just keep making Kobe’s injuries worse and worse throughout the year, so that if the Lakers run into the Heat in the Finals the story can be, “Kobe Bryant is getting revenge against Dwyane Wade for shattering his face, driving the bridge of his nose backwards into his brain and causing him to go into a coma and lose control of his limbs and suffer several months of debilitating rehab, and he never thought he would ever walk again but he’s here TONIGHT on the BIGGEST STAGE” or whatever.

Secondary suggestion: Kobe adopts a Phantom of the Opera style mask and Wade spends the rest of the season trying to duck him.

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