Important Follow-Up: Rangers Set Sunglasses Record, But Not Really

Pro Wrestling Editor
06.22.11 2 Comments

The least important part of this follow-up is that the Texas Rangers officially set a Guinness World Record on Tuesday by handing out glasses and organizing the “most people wearing sunglasses … in the dark”. The most important part, at least to me, is the realization that Guinness World Records have to be verified by an official, but the actual number of the thing doesn’t matter, it just has to beat the old one.

They only needed 424 to beat the previous record, so representatives from Guinness counted only sections 314 and 315. Despite that, most of the 33,533 in attendance wore the blue or red shades, which were provided by Reliant Energy.

“I’m pleased to say that 424 people participated in this attempt,” said Danny Girton Jr., senior corporate communications manager for Guinness. “There were a further unconfirmed 30,000 who helped Reliant Energy in this attempt.”

What the Hell? Maybe the old record of 423 had 80,000 people wearing sunglasses, but only had to beat the older old record of 422. How am I supposed to take your recording of who is and isn’t wearing sunglasses in the dark seriously with this kind of lazy verification? Selective, revisionist history blows. Cindy and Bobby Brady were shooting for a teeter-totter record cloaked in lies.

I take it back, though, I think the most important part of this story is that picture of George W. Bush and Nolan Ryan (and Nolan Ryan’s hilarious, chickensh:t wife) chilling out at the ballgame, rocking novelty sunglasses. That would be the most fun way to spend a baseball game ever. Read more and watch a video of people wearing sunglasses here.

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