Sometimes the nerves can get to an athlete in the midst of a high-pressure game. You feel the eyes of millions on you. Suddenly, you puke all over the field but while it’s funny, sure, it’s understandable.
Other times, you are North Texas running back Jeffrey Wilson and you’re not really in a high-pressure game — you’re playing in the meaningless Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl, which appears to be a real bowl. Instead of millions of eyes on you, it’s probably like 200. But that didn’t prevent Wilson from vomiting not once, but twice during a North Texas drive late in the second half.
Please take notice of the incredible projectile nature of the first puke. It’s like the puke from Pitch Perfect. It’s like when someone on Saturday Night Live pukes through that tube that runs down their arm. North Texas may be 5-7 but that’s a national championship sort of puke.
The question becomes — did Wilson’s first puke reach the 30-yard line?
After review, the vomit does not reach the line the gain. The chunks have been spotted at the 31-yard line. Please reset the puke clock to 45 seconds.
Then he pukes again! Where is he getting it from? What did he eat before the game? Everything?
Once again, Wilson’s max distance appears to be only a yard, but getting that sort of distance on a projectile vomit when it’s your second one makes him the MVP. But how?
It was only 65 degrees in Dallas at the time of the puke, so it’s unlikely this is heat-related. Maybe a little food poisoning? A flu?
I choose to believe that Wilson honored the level of bowl he was playing in and showed how he felt about playing for free in it.