This Newborn Baby Is Jinxing The San Francisco Giants

Born at Mercy Hospital of Folsom at 8:02 PM on August 1 — the nine-month anniversary of the San Francisco Giants clinching the 2010 World Series — Brooklynn Olivia Bird, newborn daughter of longtime Giants fans Robert and Jennifer, is your official The World Series Baby. The rub (cough) is that The World Series Baby is the child conceived the quickest following the Giants game 5 victory over the Texas Rangers. I guess ol’ Rob was putting it to his wife with a stopwatch, because little Brooklynn was born exactly nine months and seven minutes later. You’d think Giants fans would name their daughter “Upper Manhattan” instead of Brooklynn, but who understands Giants fans?

The prize for being the Most Approximate Ejaculate reads “a $2,010 gift certificate, a commemorative brick imprinted with her name at AT&T Park and a birth certificate signed by the Giants”, and that all sounds great, but leaves us with a pretty good case for a Barry Zito paternity suit a few years down the road. The downside is that since August 1, the Giants have gone on a 7-14 skid and have lost a grip on the NL West. Ah well, can’t win them all. Brooklynn’s Dad’s comment about his daughter’s late arrival (she showed up 11 days later than planned) is sweet, and could’ve been torn from the lips of Dina Lohan.

“We never win anything; now we have a baby and now she wins everything for us.”

In all seriousness, congratulations to the Birds, and congratulations to Olivia (call her Olivia, please) for being adorable, winning the contest, and showing up and pissing that dog the hell off.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]