Tiger Woods is officially in the “confusing middle-aged man” portion of his career, and thank goodness for that. Apropos of nothing, he tweeted out this glorious photo of him as “Mac Daddy Santa” (???) that he claims his kids love (?!?!?!?!), and we have so many questions.
First among them, who took that photo? Who is the man in the shades?
I feel like I implied this already, but it’s an important enough question to spell it out: How in God’s name is that something he does for his kids? It looks like the costume for a low-rent, poorly-thought-out Magic Mike routine. Also, is that a white wig below that baseball cap or did he put a baseball cap on top of a Santa hat? Did he dye his goatee white or put a fake white goatee over his real goatee? Does this Mac Daddy Santa character have a song? I feel like he walks into the room with a horrible, Sugarhill Gang-style theme song.
I’m Mac Daddy Santa and I’m here to say
I wrap presents all night and rap rhymes all day
All you naughty kids, don’t got time for you
But for the nice, here’s a PS2
He should probably update the lyrics, but that rhyme scheme doesn’t come along every day. Of course, Twitter could not let this stand without having their own thoughts.