‘Full House’ Was A Bad Show, So Please, Don’t Make That Spinoff

Full House

Full House?

C’mon, people… another Full House? It’s really come to this?

I have mixed feelings about nostalgia. On one hand, it’s certainly not healthy to live in a past that was a lot worse than you remember it being. I have some fond memories that, yes, do whip up some nostalgic feelings from time to time, but if I woke up and it was all of a sudden, say, 1987 again, I would be absolutely miserable. Could you imagine living in a world without the internet having already experienced the internet? We take them for granted, but we carry around machines that can answer any question at any time. Nothing bothers me more than when I don’t know a piece of information that I desperately want to know.

Yesterday, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember the name of the guy who played Skippy on Family Ties. I wanted to say Mark Price, but Mark Price was a former NBA point guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers. A few seconds later, I had the answer: It’s Marc Price. (Sorry for setting off both of your Google alerts, guys.) In 1987, how would I find that answer? Does the library even have that answer? Do I have to wait for Family Ties to come on the air and wait for the end credits? I remember there was a local radio show host named “Mr. Trivia,” and the gist was that people would call him up and ask questions just like, “Who plays Skippy Handelman on Family Ties?” And if he didn’t know the answer, he’d find out and give the answer next week. This is how things used to work. Do you know who probably has a lot of nostalgia for 1987? “Mr. Trivia.”

Also in 1987, a bad television show called Full House premiered.

Full House premiered on Sept. 22, 1987 in what now looks like a conspicuous night of television. Following Full House was another new situation comedy, titled I Married Dora, which is best known (if known at all) for breaking the fourth wall during its 13th and final episode, announcing that they had been canceled directly to the audience.

I Married Dora was followed by the better remembered, but almost equally as short-lived Max Headroom.

Sadly, Full House lasted longer than 13 episodes and, now, is reportedly coming back as a Netflix series titled Fuller House. Why is this happening? Who really wants more Full House? Is it for the GIFs? My prediction is that if a new Full House happens, it will be the most heavily GIFed, but least watched show in television history.