Workaholics/Broad City (Comedy Central, 10:00-11:00 p.m.) – Tonight’s episode of Workaholics is titled “Beer Heist.” Yes. Sold. In.
The Americans (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – From TV Guide: “Philip questions Elizabeth’s readiness for action. Meanwhile, Stan becomes more attached to Nina.” I hope they mean literally attached, like in the one Farrelly brothers movie with Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear. That would be a fun twist.
Survivor: Cagayan (CBS, 8:00 p.m.) – Tonight one of the tribes considers taking a dive in an immunity challenge. It’s weird that this a sentence that makes sense in the world today. If you zoom out to, like, 30,000 feet, reality television is very strange.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9:00 p.m.) – After consecutives episodes about rape jokes and hazing, SVU tackles the hot button issue of … ILLEGAL GAMBLING CLUBS! Wait, hold on. What year is this? Is Rounders still in the theaters?
Modern Family/Mixology (ABC, 9:00-10:00 p.m.) – It just dawned on me how much better Mixology would be if one of characters gets murdered and the whole thing turns out to be Castle crossover.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Robert Duvall and Rachel Ray on Kimmel; Sylvester Stallone and Theo James on Letterman; Ricky Gervais and Krysten Ritter on Ferguson; Shailene Woodley, Artie Lange, and Beck on Fallon; Norman Reedus on Meyers; Jason Bateman on Stewart; and Aaron Paul and Maggie Q on Conan.