Fox News Incorrectly Reported That Jimmie Johnson Won The Daytona 500 And Then Things Got Really Political

Last night, the 2014 Daytona 500 was just 38 laps into the action when rain caused a six-hour rain delay that must have left the fans at the International Speedway even drunker than they already were. Folks at home had to settle for a replay of the 2013 Daytona 500, but it turned out that a lot of people couldn’t tell the difference between last year’s and this year’s races. The difference, as we’d eventually learn, was that Dale Earnhardt, Jr. won this year’s big race, while the 2013 500 was won by Jimmie Johnson. But because Fox didn’t have a giant graphic on the screen during the replay that read, “This is a replay of last year’s race, Jimmie Johnson is not the 2014 champion,” a lot of people thought that Johnson indeed won, leading to some wonderful Twitter and NASCAR fan schadenfreude.

The confusion even led to many of Johnson’s friends texting and calling to congratulate him, even though he was still sitting there, waiting to finish this year’s race.

One source of confusion came from Fox News, which posted an announcement of Johnson’s victory on its Facebook page, and obviously people had a huge laugh over that, because it’s really funny when the media messes up, especially if it’s Fox News, am I right, my fellow Libtards? (I’m just kidding, of course. I loathe all things politics and like making fun of all cable news networks equally, because they all suck horribly and should be replaced with 24 hours of footage of puppies and kittens wrestling. But I know that just by writing about Fox News, I’m opening a can of worms and people will accuse me of having an agenda, and I honestly don’t care anymore, so have a blast.)

Because it was a simple mistake, made by plenty of people on the Twitters, Fox News issued an apology on its Facebook page – a mea culpa that is bravely still there as you read this – and viewers and fans alike came to the network’s rescue.

And they were all very kind enough to remind us that sports are so insignificant compared to what really matters – exposing the lies of our government #TruthInBenghazi #ObamaTheKenyan #WhereIsYourBirthCertificate. Here’s a pretty harmless statement from Cindy, who thinks it’s commendable that a news network would step up and admit a mistake, even if it was as dumb and meaningless as this one.

But here comes the tidal wave of turtle-marrying commies to let her have it.

Holy crap, people. It’s an apology based on a NASCAR race. I’m more pissed at the idea of Jimmie Johnson winning again than I am about someone at Fox News falling for misleading rain delay coverage. Anyway, can we get off the stupid bipartisan rhetoric and just focus on someth- nope, no we can’t.

Oh God, a migraine is setting in. I don’t think I can take much more of this. Please, no one mention the 2016 election, okay?


How the hell does the Duke lacrosse team play into this? How long has that guy been sitting on that one, thinking, “Oh man, as soon as someone tries to make fun of Fox News for accidentally reporting that Jimmie Johnson won the Daytona 500, I am going to unleash this doozie”? Does he get stuck at train crossings and think, “I swear to God, first Al Sharpton doesn’t apologize to the Duke lacrosse team and now this”? Holy crap.

In conclusion, Fox News may have started the second Civil War by accidentally declaring the wrong winner of a NASCAR race. Looking good, humanity. Looking good.