Philly Wins One Of The Ugliest Playoff Games Ever; Shaquille O’Neal Could Become A GM

By: 05.23.12
Jrue Holiday

Jrue Holiday (photo. Nicky Woo)

Quick. Everyone start offering the NBA suggestions for what would be a better way than playing a Game 7 to decide this Boston/Philly series. A coin flip? A three-point shootout between Elton Brand and Ryan Hollins? A one-on-one game between Doc Rivers and Doug Collins? How about we just show it on tape delay like they used to do back in the day? We’re not sure anyone is looking forward to it, not even fans in the Northeast. But here we are. The Celtics laid an egg in Philly, losing once again, 82-75 in one of the ugliest games we’ve ever seen. Boston shot 33 percent for the game, and if it wasn’t for Paul Pierce (24 points, 10 rebounds) and Kevin Garnett (20 points, 11 rebounds), it would’ve been even worse. If it wasn’t for Jrue Holiday (20 points), we probably would’ve shut it off earlier. Philly won despite some disastrous runs in the first half, including one where they went over five minutes without a point, helping to finish the second quarter with 11 points. Any highlight reel from this one should be just one play: Andre Iguodala‘s facial and the foul on the Truth in the third quarter … Down the stretch with the Celtics still hanging around, Philly just started clearing everyone out and using Lou Williams, Holiday and Iguodala to break the Celtics down off the dribble. It worked. Doug Collins was stressing points in the paint before the game. At one point in the fourth quarter, we looked up the numbers… and Philly was winning the battle in the paint, 40-16. 40-16! … Boston still had a chance down six in the closing minute, and got Ray “Judas” Allen a great look at a triple. Too bad the former most clutch player in the NBA has lost all of his Special Jesus Stuff and couldn’t knock it down. Remember when Ray Allen was actually good, and wasn’t so beat up that he couldn’t even out-perform Lavoy Allen? Here’s a major reason why we’re headed for a Game 7: Ray has 51 points in this series while Lavoy has 49 … We’ll never understand Evan Turner‘s game. He had three or four incredible finishes last night, reverses, switching hands, wrapping the ball around a defender, he did it all. And yet he finished with only 12 points and nine boards. He’s like Blake Lively. Sometimes it seems he has it all, and is only one big break away from really doing things, and yet never quite puts it together … Still don’t think Rajon Rondo is one of the best players in the world? When he wasn’t engaged last night (nine points, six dimes) the Celtics were AWFUL offensively. He makes the Big Three go… not the other way around. He makes that whole team go, and when he’s out there playing like he just woke up, the Celtics have trouble with anyone outside of Charlotte … Keep reading to hear about which Philly legend showed up to inspire the Sixers …

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Shaquille O'Neal

Shaquille O'Neal (photo. Chenoa Maxwell)

Allen Iverson showed up in Philly last night, and came out to a rounding ovation in a Lou Williams jersey. It certainly fired the crowd up. In Game 7, Boston could bring out Scalabrine to have the same effect, or better yet, trot out half of the Hall of Fame. During the game, ESPN caught up with Iverson and asked him about playing again in the NBA. He doesn’t even want to speak the word “retirement” and also said, “I wanna play basketball so bad.” After that interview, both “Allen Iverson” and even more incredibly, “Bubba Chuck” were trending worldwide. That goes to show you how obsessed people still are with Mr. Practice, as well as the NBA’s forward thinking. No league takes better advantage of social media … Iverson might also be the first person to ever dress exactly the same from the time he was 16 until he was 36. He deserves some type of award for that, doesn’t he? … Udonis Haslem, courtesy of trying to shave the skin off Tyler Hansbrough‘s face, has been suspended for one game and will miss Game 6 tomorrow night. That was warranted. We can’t complain when he nearly decapitated Psycho T. Seriously, Gerald Henderson would’ve been proud of that foul. Then Dexter Pittman was suspended for three games because of the deliberate cheap shot he gave to Lance Stephenson. The NBA could’ve suspended him for 20 games for that, and no one would’ve even noticed. Haslem at least plays a role in Miami, and with him out for the next game, along with Larry Legend calling his team out for being pussies and David West believing he took a cheap shot in Game 5, we’re just waiting for West to pull a P.J. Brown on one of Miami’s guards … And this is not a joke – we almost wish it was, the Orlando fans have suffered enough – but ESPN reported last night that Shaquille O’Neal will interview with the Magic brass for their vacant GM position. There are some positives. The “Shaq as an analyst” experiment could be over, and save us from hearing “1-2 punch” for the 1,456th time. But for the Magic, there could be some problems if they ever hired O’Neal. Would Shaq get rid of any center who wasn’t averaging 28 and 15 (his definition of a solid big man)? … We’re out like Shaq the GM.

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