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Lindsay’s porn flick gets distributor, but she Cannes’t come

By / 05.13.10

Lindsay's audition video


Last week I reported that Lindsay Lohan was attached to a Linda Lovelace biopic, a smaller, no-name-talent, rival production to a previously-announced Lovelace biopic. (To which Jacktion! astutely commented, “I think Lindsay Lohan is playing Linda Lovelace in the porn remake of the Linda Lovelace biopic.”)  ANYWAY, believe it or not, the film Lohan is set to star in, Inferno, has found a distributor at Cannes.  And this despite Lohan herself not being there, because she couldn’t find anyone to pay for her trip. Jeez, what’s the world coming to when a drugged-out, big-titted, bisexual, redheaded slut can’t even score a free trip to France?  I hate this economy.

If Lindsay Lohan makes it to Cannes this year, it’ll be on her own dime. We hear she’s been trying to swing a free trip to the film festival to wrangle money for her new Linda Lovelace biopic, “Inferno,” but no one’s willing to pay for her. “She’s been asking around, but hasn’t had any takers,” says a source. [NYPost]

International sales on Inferno, the porn biopic now confirmed to star Lindsay Lohan, will be handled by London-based sales house WestEnd Films. Adapted from the memoir of infamous sword-swallower Linda Lovelace, Inferno follows her destructive relationship with pornographer Chuck Traynor, and her subsequent involvement in the feminist anti-pornography [hateful fascist] movement. Lohan described Inferno as “a tragic love story…the truthfulness of it is in the ways the characters connect, even in very unhealthy ways, and can’t get away from each other, find themselves interlocked.  That element of Linda’s story feels to me very much like real life.” [TotalFilm - via Vulture]

Wait, you’re saying a nonfiction book about real life feels like real life?  Alert the media.  By the way, I find that last statement is funnier if you imagine Lindsay looking up from the book while speaking in the voice of David After Dentist.  “…Is this real life?”

I also found this new video of Lindsay’s dentist appointment:


TAGSinfernoLINDA LOVELACELindsay LohanMATTHEW WILDER

I want more like this!

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