So this clip comes from WhitePrideTV, calling itself “The Andrew Show, a Show for White Kids.” I saw the intro and I was all, “Hey, I’m a white kid!” But then I watched it, and all Lights Camera Jackson‘s cousin over here (Andrew Pendergraft) could talk about was how Marmaduke is racist. He sounded British at first, and I thought, “A British racist kid on TV? That seems weird. Maybe he’s South African.” (Is that racist? To think racist kids could only come from certain countries?) But then I found out he’s just a kid from Arkansas with a speech impediment (he’s actually the grandson of the national Klan leader). (*sigh*) The truth is always so much more banal.
“Then the dog and his family moves to California. So the dad takes his dog to the dog park to meet his boss. So there is this one spot where only certain dogs can be at. So the one dog at the end of the movie, goes up to the dogs at their tewwitowwy and says that the dogs’ tewwitowwy shouldn’t be they-ows, and that all dogs should be they-ow. So it’s like different races come and say that white people shouldn’t have their own land, and that other races should have it. Now, before I go, if you have anything you want to tell me… [gives out his email address..]”
And then he just sort of trails off and plays a CCR song like a stoned substitute teacher I once had. I don’t know what offends me more, that his parents indoctrinated him with this silly, racist world view that keeps him from enjoying a modern classic such as Marmaduke, or that they managed to do it without also teaching him how to talk. This is America, kid. Speak English or get out.