10.13.08 9 years ago 73 Comments

You’ll be kicking yourself if you didn’t bring your A game last week, because I’ve got a sweet prize to give away.  I don’t tell you about these things ahead of time because I don’t want to give you any excuse not to give 111,000% every day.  Now, LET’S GET OUT THERE AND KICK SOME ASS!!!  **heterosexual ass pats all around**

This week’s winner gets the three-disc special edition DVD of The Incredible Hulk, a movie AICN calls “Every bit as good as Iron Man,” proving AICN’s reviewer smokes rock and/or pole (you can read my review of the film here). The DVD (and blu-ray disc) hits shelves October 21st.  It includes an alternate opening in which the Hulk plays in the snow (and supposedly a brief glimpse of Captain America), a digital copy of the film so you can watch it on your portable ass shit, and all sorts of commentary so you know what motherf-ckas were thinking when they made it.  Two hours of bonus features in all. It will make. The shit. Fall out. Of your ass.

So who won it?  Find out after the jump, dumbshit.

It wasn’t Robopanda, though this was pretty funny:

[From the George Lucas Determined to Suck in US thread] “George is in think mode right now.”  Think Mode is what happens right after Cheeseburger Mode and just before Thinking About Having Another Cheeseburger Mode.

And it wasn’t John Wayne in a Devo Hat, because even though it was hilarious, it was kind of off topic:

[From the Another Conspiracy Thing post] How about that Presidential Debate last night? Was that wild or what? I mean, the last time I saw a Vietnam Vet & a black guy go at it like that they were fighting over a french fry in the garbage at a Mc Donalds parking lot in Santa Monica.

Nor was it The Kurgan even though this one had an understated charm:

[From the David Zucker Conpiracy thread] It probably would have been a better movie if the fat guy had taken a bite out of the camera thinking it was really the sandwich he had on the other shoulder.

Ditto Michelle07, Donkey Hodey, and Stone Soup

[From the Nick Nolte’s House Burns Down thread] Michelle07 says, “He so f-cking pissed at that Drew Barrymore now. He swears he saw her sitting in a car looking hard at his house.”

[From the Bond Girl is a Pterodactyl thread] Stone Soup says, “Gemma Arterton is tired of Shia Lebouf calling her to ask if she’s got any extra fingers laying around.”

[From The Hills vs. Charlize Theron thread] Donkey Hodey says, “The Hills’ target audience is the same as my target audience now that my new scope has arrived.”

[From the Green Lantern thread] Donkey Hodey says, “I also have a green power ring. I think that means that I’m not stressed out.”

[From the Twilight thread] Donkey Hodey says, “Last time I tried impressing a chick with a trick that involved kicking fruits, the words “hate crime” got thrown about.”

It wasn’t Token Black Guy, even though he was at one point an early favorite:

[From the 50 Cent Directs thread] Token Black Guy says, “This movie’s getting watched 9 times.”

And it wasn’t any of these funny bastards from the Ultimate Gun Rape thread:

Stone Soup says, “What do you mean bro you!?!?!”

Naitch says, “It wasn’t actually rape, he was just practicing his half guard.”

Naitch says, “He’s a ground and pound rapist.”

nezzer says, “You haven’t really been raped until you’ve been raped by an Ultimate Fighter.”

ChinoMoreno says, “I would love to see Sodomy in concert.”

nezzer says, “Considering he lost in the first round of every fight he has ever been in I think he’ll be putting on a lot of “sodomy in concert” shows in prison.”

madman says, “A half hour after I joke about an asian gun rapist, I feel like doing it again.”

Hell it wasn’t even Burnsy, who clearly took funny pills last week:

[From the Spooky Dan Interviews Corey Haim thread] Burnsy says, “SpookyDan’s resume is printed on a photo of his parents crying.”

[From Max Payne] Hey retarded FOX, what’s up? Tell your mother I said hello.

[Same thread] Hey Wahlberg Cat, how you doing? I like your fur, what’s up with that?

[From Paris Hilton/Martin Sheen] I’m not Ultra-Republican, I’m…  Hold on, there’s a f-cking black kid on my street again.

[From This. Is. New Orleans] In his defense, Drew Brees followed it up by yelling, “And THIS. IS. A FOOTBALL! AND THIS. IS. ME THROWING!”

Phew.  I’m really tired of this.  Bottom line, the winner is… Pauly Dangerously, for this gem from the Ultimate Gun Rape thread:

This is my rifle, this is my gun
This one’s for raping and this one’s for rape

He should probably have to wrestle Burnsy for it, but I had to go with the one that made me laugh the hardest, and it’s hard to compete with something that makes me picture a fat guy singing.  About rape.  Anyway, nominate your favorites for this week in the comments section as always.

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