A+ FOR UTTER MEDIOCRITY

Senior Editor
07.07.09 8 Comments

This is the red-band trailer for The Collector, though I don’t know what’s red-band about it, it doesn’t have any boobs or swearing.  It was directed by Marcus Dunstan, writer of Saw IV, V, and VI (easily the sequeliest of all the Saw movies) and features… uh… a guy in a gimp mask… made of cow turds… and some bear traps.  This looks exceptionally boring.  I don’t get it, am I supposed to care if this guy murders these people?  Because I don’t.  I just don’t want anyone in the audience to breed.  I liked this better when it had a completely different plot, Morgan Freeman, and was called The Bone Collector, which was also Morgan Freeman’s nickname in high school.

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Vince Mancini is a writer, comedian, and podcaster. A graduate of Columbia’s non-fiction MFA program, his work has appeared on FilmDrunk, the UPROXX network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator.

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