Look, so I realize that this is going to sound pretty out there, but a recent study has just confirmed that women find guys who can dance good more attractive than guys who cannot. Shocking, I know. Here I am, admiring my Wilt Chamberlain-esque coitus number, wondering how I made it this far using only The Sprinkler on the dance floor. “Hips don’t lie” quoth the Shakira.
British and German researchers (working together?!) took a group of 19 men, ages 18-35, and filmed them all dancing like morons with a special 3-D camera. They then took that footage and adapted their gyrations to bland, featureless, computer avatars. The dancing avatar footage was then shown to a sample group of 37 heterosexual women who were
flabbergasted that they couldn’t pick a mate based on bottle service or wallet size then asked to choose the most appealing dancers, based on their movements alone.
“This is the first study to show objectively what differentiates a good dancer from a bad one. Men all over the world will be interested to know what moves they can throw to attract women,” said psychologist Dr Nick Neave of Britain’s Northumbria University in a statement.
The study found that female perceptions of good dance quality were influenced most greatly by large and varied movements involving the neck and trunk. The speed of the right knee movements were also important in signaling dance quality.
A “good” dancer thus displays larger and more variable movements in relation to bending and twisting movements of their head/neck and torso, and faster bending and twisting movements of their right knee,” the researchers said in a report published in the Royal Society Journal Biology Letters. [reuters]
Wait, so what you’re telling me is that these women picked their favorites based on the “trunk” and “right knee”? Oh man, I’m f–king hopeless -not only is my right knee busted from skiing, but my trunk hasn’t grown since I was in the 3rd grade. After the jump we’ve got the avatar-mapped footage of the dancing
bears men for your viewing pleasure. For all the fellers out there, you’d best grab a crayon and napkin for some note taking, because nobody respects a guy, living in his parent’s basement, if they can’t dance good.
Women want to have sex with this:
Nobody wants to have sex with this:
Annnd everyone best respect this weirdness:
Hat tip to DiscoverMagazine for the heads up.