Welcome to Reality TV Roundup — a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do…
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch “The X Factor,” “Survivor,” “Top Chef,” “Project Runway” or any other competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week’s program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don’t come crying to me if you find out something you didn’t want to know. You’ve been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too.
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS
SURVIVOR
Kourtney Moon is diagnosed with cancer and is still having problems with her broken arm.
Sometimes, contestants can find a crew member to give them fire from a cigarette lighter. No kidding.
THE AMAZING RACE
According to Phil Koeghan, you’d be “crazy” not to watch Brendon and Rachel of “Big Brother” on this season of “TAR.” I think he meant they will make us crazy AS we watch.
Phil Koeghan’s bicycling documentary “The Ride” airs on Sunday on Showtime. Whoot!
THE VOICE
The blind auditions continue — and Cee-Lo is stocking up his team quickly.
Cee-Lo has plans afoot for a solo album as well as a Goodie Mob album later this year.
THE BACHELOR
Ben is still entranced by Courtney — the question is, why?
If Ben does end up with Courtney, the good news is they’ve already broken up. Allegedly.
Chris Harrison is shocked that America doesn’t like Courtney. In other news, Chris Harrison has recently learned that the sky is blue.
Emily wouldn’t have wanted to take Ben home to meet her family anyway.
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT
Host Nick Cannon’s mild kidney failure may not be so mild — he’s quitting his radio show to get better.
X FACTOR
Since Whitney’s no longer in the running, Janet Jackson may be stepping into Paula/Nicole’s shoes.
AMERICAN IDOL
Another two hours devoted to Hollywood week — which is starting to feel as if it’s being shown in real time.
TOP CHEF
The chefs are given incredibly silly, non-food related challenges to close in on the final three.
PROJECT RUNWAY ALL STARS
Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia will be lending their talents to the Oscar pre-show. We miss you on “Runway,” Tim!
Even though Mila’s outfit is Early Hooker, Kara gets the boot. Go figure.
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
The reunion that will not end slogs on — and Kim gets the last word. Kind of.
Taylor Armstrong says she didn’t write her book for money. Uh-huh.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
Vicki’s party gets fishy thanks to her Cajun theme. The ladies are not amused.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
Even Marlo tries to behave herself when the women visit an orphanage in Africa.
Why did Kim let Sweetie go? According to Sweetie, she’d been trying to quit anyway.
MISC.
Anderson Cooper has the “Toddlers & Tiaras” moms dress up like their demon spawn. You may scream now.
“Pawn Stars” tries to lowball a woman trying to sell a script for “The Godfather” — only for her to turn around and make a mint at auction to benefit charity. So there.
Kim Kardashian is none too thrilled with the idea of a public divorce. Oh, and Kourtney is still mad that everyone suspects her dad wasn’t really Robert Kardashian.