The Ultimate, Unarguable Pie Power Ranking

11.10.17 1 week ago 28 Comments

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Is there even a bad slice of pie? Really? Isn’t it all good? The answer is yes. Pie is always good (way better than wack-ass cake). But the difference between a good pie and the best pie is a vast gulf filled with empty pie crusts and sad, sugar-filled tears.

We write about comfort food a lot in these parts, so let us tell you: Pie is pretty much the perfect comfort food. The base is a lard or butter crust that should flake and add a textural counterpoint to the smooth filling inside. But know this: It’s the filling where a great pie lives and dies. A great filing balances the holy dessert equation of sweet + savory or tart = perfection. Tip the balance too far in any direction and even the best crust can’t save you.

Since the holiday season is rapidly approaching, pies are going start popping up more and more in our lives. There will be choices — hard choices — about which slice of pie to eat and which slice of pie to have seconds of. No one regrets a second piece of perfect pie, but a second slice of store bought cherry mush? That will stick with you.

Below is our ultimate ranking of the best “classic” pies that appear on almost all American menus at one point or another. And by classic we mean what we call pie in America: fatty crust with a filling and maybe a top of more crust or maybe cream with a flourish or two here and there. So you can take the cake they call a Boston Cream Pie and put it straight in the disqualified column. Stick to beans, Boston!

10. CHERRY PIE

Okay, this list has to start somewhere, doesn’t it? There’s nothing wrong with cherry pie besides maybe the schlocky cock rock song about it. If this pie is done at exactly the right time (around early summer when the cherries are still a little tart), then you have something special. The major problem here is that more often than not you’ll be getting a cherry pie filled with cherries from a can. No one wants those.

#cherrypie #sweettreats #Friday

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