Last night, I got an email from my editor who said we needed a list of Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. (This might actually be an embellishment. –ed.) Now, this makes sense because there’s a brand new one, Spider-Man: Homecoming, that just opened (it’s great!) and people do love subjective lists.
To be honest, I understand there’s a need to differentiate our list from the plethora of other lists on this vast internet, but I thought this one was odd. But! I’m certainly not a person who turns down an assignment; so ahead we list which Marvel title characters probably rank the worst, in odor.
[We said “rank the characters in order,” not “odor.” –ed.]
9. Doctor Strange
Dr. Stephen Strange seems very well groomed and, judging from his posh Manhattan apartment, I bet only keeps the finest toiletries on hand. I feel confident in saying that Dr. Stephen Strange is probably the best-smelling hero in the MCU. I bet when he enters a room, people say, “Wait, what’s that nice soap smell? Oh, I see, Stephen Strange just walked in. I wish I could smell as good as he does. Maybe someday I, too, will purchase expensive soaps.”
8. Iron Man
Tony Stark, like Stephen Strange, is someone I can only assume likes to smell as nice as he looks. The tricky part here is that Stark does a lot of his work in an iron suit. But there’s just no way that Tony’s Iron Man suit isn’t equipped with a refreshing climate control – it’s probably a lot like driving a Maserati. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a mini shower in that suit – or at least some kind of fragranced mist. Regardless, there’s no way Tony Stark smells.