I have a deep love for Star Wars action figures. One of my earliest memories was of my parents giving me my first figures — something called a “six pack” from The Empire Strikes Back line — which I had even before I saw the movie. (Also, as it turns out, this “six pack” today is quite rare and valuable. Alas.) I had no idea who these people were! But I was ecstatic! And, yes, at the time I just assumed this Han Solo fellow just always wore a heavy coat. And since the “six pack” didn’t come with a Luke Skywalker, the Rebel Soldier in Hoth gear would have to sub in for Luke. (Looking back, I bet that was a big moment for Rebel Soldier.)
I have this weird recurring dream (probably my second most recurring right after the “I stopped going to a college class months ago and the final is coming up and I’ve for sure missed tests and I’ll never graduate now” dream) where I turn a corner at a toy store and all the vintage Star Wars figures are there loading up the aisle in their original packaging. When I die, instead of seeing a white light, I suspect I’ll see this image. As my seconds on this Earth dissolve away, instead of saying, “Oh my gosh, it’s my grandfather,” I’ll probably say something like, “Oh my gosh, it’s Walrus Man,” instead.
Anyway, my point is when Hasbro asked if I wanted to get my own private sneak peak (with designers on hand) of some of the products they’d be offering in stores on Force Friday (which is tomorrow) tied to December’s release of The Last Jedi, I said yes.
I took some pictures. As it turns out, I am not a professional photographer, but they are clear and with a proper internet connection, you should be able to make out what is in these pictures just fine. And let’s start with what I found to be the most surprising: Snoke is pretty tall!
In The Force Awakens, Snoke is projected onto a giant throne and it’s impossible to gauge his actual size. Is he a giant? Is he Yoda’s size? We had no clue. Well, thanks to his toy, we now know. And according to Hasbro, he’s a robust 7’1” tall. So basically Snoke is the same height as Shaquille O’Neal. I have no idea if he can play center, but here’s a picture of him standing next to Han Solo. (Okay, yes, I know this is Poe Dameron, but I do love how his The Last Jedi outfit is going “all in” on the Han Solo look. He’s even wearing the same undershirt. The only thing missing Han’s special leg holster.)
If we expand out, we see that Poe is visiting Snoke at his house. Maybe they are friends and this item is called “Snoke’s House”? That is not the case, as this is a Star Destroyer playset that turns into a BB-8 when it’s not in action. As it turns out, believe it or not, there’s a lot of BB-8 merchandise to be had.
Mr. Luke Skywalker finally gets his first sequel trilogy action figure. I asked the people at Hasbro why he didn’t get one in The Force Awakens and I was told that they saw Luke for the first time the same time we all did: at the end of The Force Awakens when the movie was in theaters. And since it takes around a year and a half to make an action figure, well, that’s why there wasn’t a Luke in that line. But here he is! But he doesn’t have a lightsaber, which a Hasbro rep made sure to point out and add, “read into that however you want.” Also, Luke talks.
All of the action figures have lines of dialogue that can be heard if this doohickey is purchased: