Steve McCraw, Director of the Department of Public Safety in Texas, is not a fan of Snoop Dogg. In response to one of his troopers getting a picture taken with Snoop at South by Southwest, McCraw called the rapper a “dope-smoking cop hater.”
Harsh.
That had us wondering, though, what McCraw thinks of other musicians? We sent someone* down to the great state of Texas to find out.
Drake: “Canadian. Don’t trust Canadians.”
Iggy Azalea: “Like the bush? Or isn’t it Azalea tree? I don’t garden.”
Wiz Khalifa: “Dope-smoking, tattooed Steeler fan.”
Lil’ Wayne: “Dope-smoking, lacks proper enunciation. What the hell does ‘skeet skeet’ mean?”
Miley Cyrus: “Dope-smoking nudist weirdo.”
Rihanna: “Dope-smoking vile temptress.”
Bruno Mars: “That dude’s a woman?”
Flo Rida: “I love Daytona.”
UPROXX informs the Director that it’s Flo Rida the rapper, and not Florida the state.
Flo Rida: “What the…?”
2 Chainz: “Don’t care for braggarts.”
Jack White: “Probably a vampire.”
Ed Sheeran: “Muppet.”
Kanye: “Needs a lesson in shut the hell up.”
Usher: “Can’t trust a fella with a smile as bright as that. Lights up a whole room.”
Mumford & Sons: “Which one’s the dad? And aren’t those other fellas a little old to be his sons? Someone’s gotta explain that one to me.”
Juicy J: “That some new illegal thing the kids are drinking? Like cough syrup or something? Great.”
Ariana Grande: “Tinkerbell.”
Hozier: “Whozier?”
Adele: “I mean, is she ever going to come out with a new album?”
Alabama Shakes: “What we call a real bastard of a hangover.”
Jay Z: “I’m a Pandora man.”
Justin Bieber: “We have a cell already with his name on it.”
Nicki Minaj: “Actually, I gained a great deal of respect for her after reading a recent Rolling Stone profile on her. She really takes her business seriously, and I respect that. Also, I love ‘Starships.'”
* No, we really didn’t.
