Super Bowl XLVII is yesterday’s news. Literally. It’s time to start thinking about the future, to Super Bowl XLVIII on February 2, 2014. The location: MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey, home of the New York Giants and Jets, neither of whom will play in the game, unless God has a sick sense of humor (He did allow this to happen). If you listen closely, you can already hear the all-expenses-paid sportswriters bitching about the cold.
Unlike New Orleans, which went with out-of-towner Beyoncé for halftime entertainment, I’m guessing that next year’s performer will be a local band, what with loud, proud, obnoxious JERRRSSSSEEEEYYYY pride and all. (Chris Christie wouldn’t have it any other way.) My money’s on Bon Jovi getting the gig, for better or worse (worse), but here are seven other Garden State groups that should have it instead. Hm, I wonder if the Boss is included?
#1. The Gaslight Anthem/Titus Andronicus/Screaming Females
Individually, none of these three bands are big enough to play the Super Bowl, but TOGETHER, well, still no, but a sweaty boy with moshpit bruises can dream, can’t he?
#2. The Fugees
Lauryn Hill could probably use the money…
#3. The Misfits
SOMEONE SYNC UP JIM HARBAUGH FREAKING OUT TO “ASTRO ZOMBIES” NOW.
#4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Best known as a New York band, like how the Giants and Jets are known as New York teams, but Karen O is actually from New Jersey, like how the Giants and Jets actually play in New Jersey.
#5. Skid Row
But only if Sebastian Bach joins them, and they play “18 and Life” over and over again.
#6. Yo La Tengo
The Hoboken trio would probably do a football-themed set, too, though considering the origin of their band name, the World Series might be a better fit.
#7. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Obviously. But can he top this?
No, he can’t. Still should happen.