Cowboys Fans Demand Return of Aikman
Northwestern is Choke-tastic

I Expect Royalties When This Gets Made

By / 10.24.06

So, okay. There's this rookie cop, right? But he's not just ANY rookie cop: he's a washed-up NBA star. Not some little point guard guy either, but a big-ass center. Black guy, of course. And he's, like, a part of this SWAT team against Internet sex offenders.

But on his first raid, he terrorizes an innocent family. Even interrogates the kids. You've seen The Untouchables, right? It's like that part when Kevin Costner goes bulldozing into the empty building. So the NBA guy gets kicked off the force, but he sets up a private investigation firm so he can still track down Internet predators.

Only he needs a mentor, because he's all inexperienced, you know? So he finds this investigative reporter who's famous for busting people jerkin' it in the library. Always wears a trench coat. White dude, because we've already got the black guy. And he's all old and crotchety, but he's happy to finally be carrying a gun instead of a microphone. And from there they argue a lot and break up a ring of Internet kiddie porn guys or something, and they do it their way, man, even if the stodgy old cops and City Hall keep getting in their way. 

What's that smell? It's the scent of money, my friends. Eau de Summer Blockbuster.


TOPICS#NBA
TAGSMOVIE PITCHESShaquille O'Neal

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