Budhia Singh is a five-year-old boy who became a celebrity in his native India when he ran 40 miles non-stop over a period of seven hours. Um, last year. When he was four. In an unexpected twist, it turns out that four-year-old children don't automatically love extreme distance-running; Singh's coach, Biranchi Das, has been arrested under suspicion of torture.
On Sunday, Singh accused his coach of beating him and withholding food, and said he would give up running… Singh showed reporters on Sunday scars he said were left by the coach's mistreatment. "He hung me upside down from a ceiling fan," he told reporters, smiling and fidgeting. "He locked me in a room for two days without food."
Wait, you can't torture little boys in India? This is totally going to fuck up my vacation. I gotta see if I can change my plane tickets to the Philippines. Or Thailand.
Stupid mistake on my part. I should have paid better attention to that Thailand tourism brochure. Right there on the front: "Thailand: where torturing little boys isn't just legal, it's a way of life!" My life would be so much easier if I just listened to pamphlets more often.