THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR ROLLER DANCING
WEIGHTLIFTING + FISH TANK = BAD IDEA

THE FALCONS WANT TO LOSE IN THE PLAYOFFS

By / 12.22.07

According to the San Diego Union Tribune, the Atlanta Falcons are trying to get their third choice for a new head coach, Marty Schottenheimer, and his former cohort in San Diego, current Chargers' Assistant GM Buddy Nix. 

San Diego GM A.J. Smith talked to the Union-Tribune about the speculation, saying, "I have not heard about Buddy Nix, but I have heard the Coach Schottenheimer rumors. "If true, I believe a Buddy Nix-Marty Schottenheimer team in Atlanta would be a perfect fit. … Buddy got along well with Coach Schottenheimer. They socialized together, went out to dinner, golfed together, sat together on the plane, talked football all the time."

They sat together on the plane? (Cue the sitcom audience: "Ooohh.") Conversely, SI is reporting that Schottenheimer is happy being retired. Having your team coached by Marty is a lot like getting several lap dances. At first, your expectations are low and it seems a little awkward. Then, it starts to feel good and then you get very excited only to have the bouncer kick out because you wanted to touch the . . . er, um . . . Lombardi trophies trophy. Yeah, that's it. Anyway, you can either get fleeced in the champagne room or get a lovely Russian lady who'll take you to the promised land. -KD    


TAGSATLANTA FALCONSBLUE BALLSNFL

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