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Dolphins DE and former NFL Defensive Player of the Year Jason Taylor will join fellow athletes Monica Seles and Kristi Yamaguchi on the next round of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." It's fucking stupid to write about, because no amount of mockery from awesome people like me will stop otherwise credible athletes from joining the likes of Jerry Springer and Joey Fatone on that show. On the other hand, it'll be light years more interesting than most Dolphins games last year.
Basically the only reason to watch that show is to see the wonders that a career of dancing does for the female instructors (and, on occasion, hot contestants like season 1 winner Kelly Monaco, pictured on the left with show regulars Regina Poryes, Kym Johnson and Cheryl Burke in Vegas). Those women are tauter than guitar strings. Makes you wanna turn 'em inside out, wear their skin, and play their internal organs like a set of bagpipes.
…metaphorically, of course.