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DOWNHILL SKIING IS PERFECTLY SAFE

By 12.15.08

Here’s the opening commentary from American Andrew Weibrecht’s run at the notoriously dangerous Birds of Prey course in Beaver Creek, Colo., over the weekend:

“All right, fasten your seatbelts.  This guy only knows one speed, and that is full-on, hundred and ten WHOAH
HHHHHHHHHH
LOOK AT THAT!!!!!”

I’m not joking when I say this is exactly what I want out of commentators.  When someone flies through the air and crashes headfirst into an embankment, I don’t wanna hear some pussy whisper, “Oh, now this is just terrible.  Let’s hope he’s all right.”  They should always be ready to say, “And a 9.5 from the Russian judge!” as soon as someone crashes. 

Of course, that would be bad form if someone were hurt badly enough to warrant a medevac helicopter, so if that happens the producers should be ready to cut to the booth and show the announcers exchanging high-fives to the replay.


TAGSANNOUNCERSskiing

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