Fluent spanglish speaker, Chad Ochocinco, has been randomly selected by the NFL to undergo a urinalysis. Initially, R. Kelly got excited, until he realized that no 14 year old girls would be involved. Ochocinco uploaded a picture of the notice to his Twitter account with this caption:
Ok , why does the NFL continue to test me, all I do is piss excellence for them each time, I love these random steroid -drug test –Twitter
Also in Chad’s piss: Vince Lombardi’s tears, and enough vodka cranberry to help the citizens of Cincinnati drink away their sadness. Terrell Owens is relieved to be on a team where you only need to give pee for testing. Jerry Jones makes all of his players give him a sperm sample. He clones them for his private army.