“Dammit Frank, the children and old ladies aren’t getting these boxes out of here fast enough. Bring in the bird in the cargo shorts with a hand truck.”
Humphrey’s bio: “Humphrey the Hawk has been the team’s high flying mascot since his birth many years ago in the Boise foothills. In addition to spending his summers at Memorial Stadium, Humphrey can be found throughout the Treasure Valley year-round. Humphrey loves to join players at the library, the hospital, community events, schools, or wherever kids of all ages can be found.”
1. The Northwest League is really big on creating lore about how they went out into the woods or the fields or whatever and scooped up a field mouse, and now he’s this big f**koff thing that can’t stop cheering for baseball.
2. The Treasure Valley sounds like an awesome place to live, but I’m gonna guess it’s like Monster Island.
3. I’m guessing “kids of all ages” means from 0 until about 11 or 12? Seems awfully specific when “kids” would’ve worked.
4. They left out the fun fact about how he once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
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