… when he wore this heavily-sponsored iron-on t-shirt asking LeBron James how his “dirk” tasted. Those things include:
1. The shirt suggests that Finals MVP and “greatest player in the history of everything ever” (© last night’s sports coverage) Dirk Nowitzki is a penis.
2. Dirk Nowitzki is specifically DeShawn Stevenson’s penis. (How’s MY Dirk Taste)
3. LeBron James has engaged in a homosexual act by “tasting” Dirk Nowitzki, who (if you’ll remember) is DeShawn Stevenson’s johnson. This also makes Stevenson a homosexual, having presented his Dirk to LeBron specifically for tasting and opinions.
4. Stevenson is curious to know what LeBron James though of the taste of his penis, to the point that he would have a t-shirt made about it (note: HDNet might’ve paid for the t-shirt with the money they saved by canceling Ring of Honor).
5. The use of an exclamation point instead of a question mark makes the shirt seem less like an inquiry and more like a lighthearted nudge in the ribs. “So hey, LeBron, heh, did you taste my Dirk?”
6. DeShawn Stevenson is currently in the middle of a rap-style beef with Jay Z, LeBron’s friend. By comparing LeBron to a penis, Stevenson has opened up a world of new material for Jay Z, who works exclusively in the medium of dick comparison.
7. “Dirk” is also a Scots word for a short dagger, so the shirt could be misinterpreted as a threat to stab LeBron James with a knife.
8. He is an adult.