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The Dugout: The Upper Upper Deck

By / 07.20.11

Jim Thome is batting about .001 this season for the Twins, but he’s closing in on 600 home runs, and the one thing Thome has never been lacking is raw, monstrous cornfed power. If you didn’t see him crank #596, it was the longest and most awesome looking/sounding homer in Target Field history, going farther than the previous champ: a different Jim Thome home run. I’ll let the animated gif (with a hat tip to my good friend and associate Jon Bois) do the recapping.

Be sure to watch that gif for about twenty minutes before reading today’s Dugout. It makes the strip better, and honestly the longer you watch it the funnier it gets. After about eight minutes you expect Thome and Delmon Young to turn and look at you through your computer screen.

Today’s Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

WordUpThome: /adjusts size XXXXL jersey

/circles bat
/holds bat parallel to pitcher

 
DudeYerGettinADelmon: hey jim  
WordUpThome: HEY G  
WordUpThome: GUY  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: hey jim you know them ol suga daddies they be trippen they tell dem girls-  
WordUpThome: HOLD THAT THOUGHT I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR CANDY BUT I’VE GOT TO DESIGNATEDLY HIT FIRST  
WordUpThome: WAIT RIGHT THERE, BE REAL NICE, LET ME GET A HIT FOR YOU TONIGHT AN MAYBE YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU LIEK  
WordUpThome: YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU LIKE*  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: yehhhhh  
WordUpThome: /adjusts size XXXXL jersey

/circles bat
/holds bat parallel to pitcher

 
FelipeMattress: /is a pitching machine, but not in the good way  
WordUpThome: /crushes the absolute motherf**king sh** out of a baseball  

DudeYerGettinADelmon: /

 
DudeYerGettinADelmon: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
WordUpThome: /robot jox his way around the bases  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: DAAAAAAAAAG homebo at home rung was longer than my DYACK byatch  
WordUpThome: FUN FACT, USING BASIC MATHS I HAVE DEDUCED THAT TATER IS ROPED  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: muh DYACK ya feel me  
WordUpThome: I WAS TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT FOR FEAR OF WHAT DYACK MIGHT MEAN  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: ay man you aight for a oafish ol fat white man  
WordUpThome: THANKS YOU TOO  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: ay watch what i do up necks

ehhthang i do i do it big imma crush it like i crush my DYACK las night

 
WordUpThome: WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU EVER TALKING ABOUT  
FelipeMattress: /throws 172nd pitch of the game  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: BOOM BITCH /grounds out to second  
  **Online Host**
The inning is over.
 
DudeYerGettinADelmon: lol forgot i basicly suck a muhf**k but YOU DOH, YOU DOH  
WordUpThome: FRIENDLIE HIGH FIVE  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: yee, where you thank ya ball landed son  
  **Online Host**
Meanwhile, in the Elsewhere in Minnesota Chatroom…
 
LadyCop: this is the last time I’m going to say it, put your hands up and step away from the 30 foot giant metal cowboy  

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: what i do

what i do

what i do

what i do

what i do

what i do

 
LadyCop: What are you doing in Nodine, Minnesota?  
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: lookin at a culvert man what it look like  
LadyCop: for what possible reason  
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: uhhhh  
LadyCop: you were trying to smoke crack out of him, weren’t you  
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: nah bitch you on man verse bong da new hit show on travlers channel ya feel me  
LadyCop: Man Versus Bong? I’ve never heard of that, and I watch the Travel Channel all the AHHHHHHH  
  **Online Host**
SteakGrowsOnDmitri is now choking the hell out of a lady cop.
 
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: give my regards to da jolly green giant when you see his big ass in hell  
SteakGrowsOnDmitri: an furthamore DERP /gets struck in the head by a falling baseball  
  **Online Host**
Back at Target Field
 
DudeYerGettinADelmon: i bet that maf**ka probly went in da uppa uppa deck  
WordUpThome: PROBLY  
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com

TAGSBaseballDELMON YOUNGDMITRI YOUNGJIM THOMEJIM THOME HOME RUNLADYCOPMINNESOTAMINNESOTA TWINSMLBTHE DUGOUT

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