Meet Kimberly, Alabama’s Vince Gilham, the 44-year-old Jefferson County deputy who won The Birmingham News’ “Ultimate Man Cave” contest, Tide Rolling country’s “quest to find the most elaborate set-up to watch college football on Saturdays”. Vince works part-time and his wife was laid off 18 months ago, but he spent a reported $35,000 on the cave, including leather recliners, Bear Bryant mannequins and three rolls of Legion Field AstroTurf to serve as carpet.
In case you’re the type who assumes writing for a sports blog means I think this is awesome, I present to you the following snippet from AL.com‘s report:
Ultimately, man caves boil down to this: “The only rules here,” said John Graves, a good friend of Vince’s, “are Vince’s rules.”
Also, “no black people”.
Pam Gilham, Vince’s wife, doesn’t just go along. She thinks it’s fun. “Every man should have his own cave,” she said in a remark that will endear herself to men everywhere.
If you use “heh” on the Internet or the word “babes” in real life, you may not be aware that most grown-up adult men do not need a “man cave” because they live in homes and are one-half of partnerships that should probably allow both people to live in peace. The age of that King of Queens style of marriage where the lady puts floral-print couches in the living room and has tea parties for the Colored Hat Society while the guy is a fat nimrod who loves his football and can’t wait to pal around with “the guys” should be f**king over, and the only thing more depressing than a guy with a man cave is a guy who says “man cave”.
Believe it or not, this is the first “can you believe this guy from Alabama” story that doesn’t hinge on him being from Alabama. Although the phrase “see some of Alabama’s man caves” is concerning.
“The only drawback to our man cave is we don’t have bathroom facilities,” Vince said. “If we had that, it would be top top-notch.”
I want more like this!
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