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The Dugout: Thome At 600

By / 08.17.11

Jim Thome hit his 600th home run.

Everyone who has ever read the Dugout sent me a message saying “hey, can’t wait to read the Thome Dugout”. He’s been our signature character for over seven years now. ESPN stuttered saying “Jim” and I couldn’t tell whether or not they did it on purpose. Maybe this dumb baseball webcomic will be erased and forgotten in a hundred years, but I hope the big goofy rosey-cheeked manchild we spotlit along the way gets his big shiny face in the Baseball Hall Of Fame and is never forgotten.

Today’s Dugout follows.

The Dugout

WordUpThome: /mashes tater  

DudeYerGettinADelmon: /is busy unwrapping length of Fruit By The Foot in left field

 
DudeYerGettinADelmon: oh shi-  
  **Online Host**
WordUpThome has just hit his 600th career home run.
 
WordUpThome: /completes shoopuf-esque trot around bases  
WordUpThome: OH HEY GUYS WHO WANTS BEAR STYLE HUGS, COME AND GET SOME MICHAEL CUDDYER  
CuddyerMak’er: lol ok /gets hugged  
WordUpThome: AND I’M A-GONNA HUG YOU  
O_Valencia: /gets hugged  
WordUpThome: AND I’M A-GONNA HUG YOU  
LawnMauer: /gets hugged  
WordUpThome: YEAH, YEAHHHHHHHH HUGS IS AWESOME  
WordUpThome: AND I’M A-GONNA HUG WAIT NO MATT YOU’RE MOVING TOO FASTLY  
WhatErnieTolbert: /goes up for the high-five  
WordUpThome: BOOM, HAND HUGGED  
WordUpThome: Mom?  
LikeAMotherThome: /stands in the dugout, clapping her hands  
WordUpThome: MOM I THOUGHT YOU HAD PASSED IT AWAY, I FEEL LIKE A RIPE OL’ J-WORD FOR NOT CALLING YOU FOR FIVE YEARS  
LikeAMotherThome: NO YOU’RE RIGHT JI  
LikeAMotherThome: JIM, I AM CURRENTLY AN ANGEL  
WordUpThome: YOU MEAN LIKE VERNING WELLS  
LikeAMotherThome: NO, I MEAN LIKE NICK ADENHART  
WordUpThome: OH  
WordUpThome: oh.  

WordUpThome: CAN MICHAEL CUDDYER SEE YOU

HEY MICHAEL CUDDYER CAN YOU SEE MY MOTHER

 
CuddyerMak’er: you mean like on a date?  
LikeAMotherThome: NO NOBODY CAN SEE ME RIGHT NOW  
LikeAMotherThome: TO THE PERSONS AROUND YOU I AM LIKE THE OAKLAND ATHLETICS  
WordUpThome: /sheds manly tear  
LikeAMotherThome: DON’T BE SAD JIMBO THIS IS A HAPPY OCCASION YOU JUST ROPED YOUR 600TH DINGER  
LikeAMotherThome: WHEN I WAS AN ACTUAL LADY I GOT TO SIT UNDER A TREE AND WATCH FAT LITTLE JIM HIT BALLS FARTHER THAN ANYBODY ELSE  
LikeAMotherThome: SOMETIMES WHEN YOU’RE PROUD ENOUGH OF SOMEBODY YOU GET TO COME DOWN AND WATCH OVER THEM  
WordUpThome: ISN’T PRIDE A SIN  
LikeAMotherThome: YEAH IT IS WEIRD  
WordUpThome: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE HERE I THOUGHT PASSED FOLK STAYED UP IN HEAVEN AND SMILED DOWN, LIKE THE NOTORIOUS BIGGER SMALLS UPON THE RELEASE OF PUFF DIDDY’S HIT SINGLE "WE’LL BE MISSING YOU"  
LikeAMotherThome: I’VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR A LONG TIME  

LikeAMotherThome: YOU HAVE MANAGED TO STAY HAPPY AND FAT AND NICE IN A SAD AND SKINNY AND MEAN BUNCH OF PLACES

IF YOU AREN’T SOMEBODY’S FAVORITE BASEBALL PLAYER THEY’RE DOING IT WRONG

 
WordUpThome: YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE MY MO  
LikeAMotherThome: DARN TOOTING  
WordUpThome: MOM  
WordUpThome: HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE HAVE YOU EVER MET DELMON YOUNG, HE GOT TRADED BUT HE’S STILL HERE  
LikeAMotherThome: YES HE HAS DIED MANY TIMES  
WordUpThome: OKAY BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO INTRODUCE YOU  
WordUpThome:  
WordUpThome: I’M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND HUG THE HECK OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW  
LikeAMotherThome: ARE YOU SURE, NOBODY’S GONNA SEE IT  
WordUpThome: YEAH THEY WILL  
 

**Online Host**
WordUpThome has hugged LikeAMotherThome.

**Online Host**
LikeAMotherThome has left the chatroom.

 
WordUpThome: /hugs nothing  
  **Online Host**
WhatsUpChuck has entered the chatroom.
 
WhatsUpChuck: HEY SON IT’S YOUR FAT  
WhatsUpChuck: FATHER CHUCK THOME  
WordUpThome: HEY DAD IT’S JI  
WordUpThome: JIM THOME  
WhatsUpChuck: I JUST SAW YOU HIT YOUR 600TH POTATER AND WANTED TO HUG THE MESS OUT OF YOU  

WordUpThome: HEY DAD AFTER THE GAME YOU WANNA, I DON’T KNOW

MAYBE GO SHOOT SOME DEERS WITH GUNS AND THEN HOLD UP THEIR HEADS SO IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE LOOKING AT THE CAMERAS

 
WhatsUpChuck: THAT WOULD MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON THE WORLD  
  **Online Host**
WhatsUpChuck has left the chatroom.
 
WordUpThome: SIGHING SOUND  
WordUpThome: /gets ready for life with 600 home runs  
DudeYerGettinADelmon: ay jim who dat qvc lookin lady you was huggin  
WordUpThome: THAT WAS NO QUALITY VALUE CONVENIENCE LADY DELMON YOUNG THAT WAS MY MOM  

DudeYerGettinADelmon: oh

you mean the one that died

 
WordUpThome: YES  

DudeYerGettinADelmon: o aight

ay look tell her if i get to heaven again an she aint got no manna imma choke her ass

 
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com

TOPICS#MLB
TAGSCHUCK THOMEDELMON YOUNGDETROIT TIGERSJIM THOMEJIM THOME HOME RUNJOE MAUERMICHAEL CUDDYERMINNESOTA TWINSTHE DUGOUT

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