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The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 9/5

By / 09.06.11

Best: R-Truth And The Miz

Watch this clip and tell me it isn’t the exact same promo, down to Truth’s facial expressions and Miz’s inappropriate golf clothes.

Boy, I like epiphalies.

Best: Air Boom Is Bout Bad As A Sneaky Fart

It’s a little bit of air, and then kaboom.

I’m pretty happy that it only took two weeks for somebody to compare Air Boom to a fart, and even happier that the concept of a shart has been introduced into WWE continuity outside of those Sid matches where he accidentally craps his pants. Truth and Miz continue to be the biggest babyface team of 2012 by being the simplest and most effective heels in 2011, ignoring the insider comments and pandering “I’m gonna kick yerrr assss!” stuff everybody else is doing to just interfere in each others’ matches and be a memorable part of the show. This is Miz’s bread and butter — the only reason he got to the position he’s in now is because of how much work he put into making every Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison appearance something to remember. Pairing him with R-Truth just gives him the biggest, slowest softball lob ever.

I’m also happy that Miz and Truth get to challenge Swiffer Kaboom at Night Of Champions, and pending a Truth and Miz loss (which should happen) I’m happy to see the feud continue with a deeper reasoning than the “nobody cares about tag teams, well nobody’s booking us in matches, hey let’s face each other and hope it goes well” thing they’ve been cobbling together. This could be the start of something truly wonderful, especially if they bring in Rich Swann as R-Truth’s little brother, Cotton.

Worst: Punk Vs. Truth Was Pretty Good, But You’d Never Know It

Somewhere around CM Punk and R-Truth’s match, Michael Cole’s good will silence and cooperation from last week eroded completely, and the commentary that is supposed to serve as a soundtrack to the action and efforts of the pro wrestlers in the ring turned into Michael Cole trolling some real life version of the Internet and Jim Ross trying to remember why he shouldn’t just kill himself in front of everybody and be done with it. This is actual, verbatim dialogue from the top rated television show on cable.

Cole: “That’s nice I’m glad everybody can have an opinion out here without you calling them STUPID, ALL YOUR OPINIONS ARE STUPID, HOW ABOUT THAT.”
JR: “That’s fine.”
[long silence]
Lawler: “there’s a cover by, r-truth, uh”
Cole: “It’d be fine if it was 1959.”
JR: “What’s that mean? What’s the relevance of your-“
Cole: [mocking JR] “IT’S BREAKIN DOWN IN COLUMBUS HERE TONIGHT.”
[long silence]
Cole: [still mocking JR] “AR-TRUTH”
[long silence]
Cole: “What, Lawler? You’re all excited because you’ve got a match coming up next.”
Lawler: “And I’m trying to get excited about THIS match.”

Also awful was Cole saying “jazz-a-bell” and not knowing what Jezebel is because he’s never read the Bible. Fire all three of them, give Scott Stanford the play-by-play job and let’s all move the f**k on with our f**king lives.

Super Worst: Jerry Lawler Saying Michael Cole Should Calm Down Before He Has A Stroke

He’s sitting next to you.


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